so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
