If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
