remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
