shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
