i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
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