Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
