u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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