and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
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