She's JV to your varsity
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
