2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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