Heybabeimwearingurpanties
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
