i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
