A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
