Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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