he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
