i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Farmville is her only friend.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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