everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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