And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
