Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
