I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Who died my cat blue again?
Randomize
