hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Randomize
