he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
