She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
