it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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