And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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