So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
