A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
