You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we're making bets on your personal life
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
