I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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