very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
