so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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