After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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