I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
