The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
