I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
