He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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