im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
