you have to choose: penises or morals?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
