Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
