hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
