i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
