In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
