I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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