he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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