You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
