Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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