dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
