just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
