Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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