No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
