twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Randomize
