every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
